I Ain't Lying Transcript
- The lady was gonna be baptized. And the preacher is old-timey. The preachers, they got together, and all of them went down to the creek. You know, they used to baptize in the creek. Now they baptize at church, have a pool. But at that time they all were baptizing in creeks and rivers, you know. And so they had been baptized, two or three. And this lady, she saw a alligator out behind the preacher. And the preacher said, "Come on sister "to the water and be baptized." Said, "No, I don't like that thing behind you." Said, "Don't let the Devil fool you, "come on and be baptized. "It's your only time to be saved." "I don't like that thing behind you." So the preacher said, "Don't let the Devil fool you." Said, "Come on down to the water and be baptized." "I just don't like that thing behind you." So she finally come on down to the water, and she looked and saw him again. And said, "I just don't like that thing behind you." And so the preacher looked back. He said, "No, by God, and I don't either."
- [Narrator] The folk tale is an oral history of black life. Storytellers speak the language of their community through the protest tale, the religious tale, the obscene toast, and the dirty dozens. We filmed in the black section of Leland, a small town in the Mississippi Delta. Shelby Brown lived most of his years in Leland, where he ran a blues juke joint and friends call him Papa Jazz.
- Because we used to plow, the folks here at home, and chopped cotton daylight in the morning. Then they gonna get out there and wait for the Lord to even looking at the sun.
♪ Hurry, hurry sun down ♪
♪ Let tomorrow shine ♪
They want the sun to go down so they can stop work. They're working so hard. They learned the blues from that. And then they learned the blues from the women. You can get the blues about a woman. Go kissing her, won't see her for three or four nights, looking for you. You get the blues there. You understand me now? You take . And you don't see her three, four days and that'll give you the blues. Most anything like that will give you the blues now. And Mississippi got more of that than anywhere. So all the blues people come up here singing the blues. They couldn't sing nothing else. Nothing else around here but the blues. What you gonna do? Not get paid enough. You're working every day. Getting in the fields up there. You can't get any amount of money. You got to be able to sing the blues. Can't go nowhere. On the white man's place. Understand me now, what are you gonna do? They take you out of school. You make us quit going to school to work the land. We'd have to get off the place if we didn't do it. I've did that several times right here in Leland. I've been on a place like that. Made my uncle move because we wouldn't stop school and go to work. Why don't you give me some of mine? Up to my lips, down to my toes, I don't care what nobody says. You can get in my nose and dig my soul, but this good, nice, cool whiskey here. The way this son-of-a-bitch goes! Ah! Kiss my grand mama's preserves.
- [Narrator] James Thomas is a blues singer in Leland. He began working in a cemetery with his grandfather, who was a one-armed grave digger.
- And I got where I liked to do, you know, dig graves. I always farmed and never did no easy work. And I thought digging graves was all right for me, but my health got bad and then I couldn't handle the job. Because there's one thing, I always be on time on a funeral. I never been ten minutes late the whole time I was working for the funeral home. I always would be ahead of time because I want to try to get everything looking good for the family. But he didn't have but one arm, and he used a three foot shovel, so I used to come around and help him. He'd tell me, he'd say, "I believe I can beat you digging." I'd say, "Well I got two hands." He'd say, "It don't make no difference." And he wouldn't eat no breakfast, he'd generally drink a cup of coffee, and he'd come out here and he'd dig a grave. So he learned me how to, how he'd do it, and how Mr. Boone want everything done. And after he died, I taken the job. Now this is a small story about a fella called Graveyard John. So Old Miss died, and John worked around the house. So at that time it weren't no funeral homes. They had Old Miss Wilder there in the house. And Old Miss had on some diamond rings, and watches and things, and John was spotting that stuff. He's supposed to have been sweeping up, but the people who was in there at the waiting room, they said, "John," they'd say, "keep a-sweepin' now." "Yes ma'am, Old Miss, I'm sweepin'." And that night he went to the cemetery to dig Old Miss up. And Old Miss wasn't dead yet, went off in a trance. John, he got the top off the box. He got his head down in there, and he first thought he heard something. I'm gonna get them rings. I ain't gonna let nothing scare me off of them rings. And John went back there and he, he got one of the rings, but one ring was on there so tight he couldn't get it. Old Miss clamped him, and out the grave he come with her on his back. And John wouldn't holler nothin' but day, day, day, day. And said she fell off at they house. And when she went in that upset the family. Said, "Oh, what you doin' here?" Said, "John saved my life." Said, "Wherever he is," said, "don't y'all bother him "because he saved my life." That looks good, it's right there now, that ain't sittin' direct over the grave, no way.
- All right, thank you sir.
- All right then.
- [Narrator] Mary Gordon was baptized and raised in the Rose Hill community. Her grandmother was brought to this country as a slave and is buried beside the Rose Hill church.
- That's not a hymn, it's just an old saying, old song. It's mostly a man's song, though, but anybody can sing what they want. It's about the rooster and the preacher.
♪ Our Father ♪
♪ Who art in heaven ♪
♪ The preacher owes me 10 dollars and pays me seven ♪
♪ Kingdom come ♪
♪ I will be done ♪
♪ If I hand't took the seven I wouldn't gotten none ♪
♪ Had to fight 'em back ♪
♪ My money when he owed me, you shall be free ♪
♪ Some people say that a preacher wouldn't steal ♪
♪ Talk about sitting in a watermelon field ♪
♪ Cuttin' and slicin' and tearin' on the vine ♪
♪ Save the vine, brother, you shall be free ♪
♪ Save the rinds, you shall be free ♪
♪ Don't rob me, you shall be free ♪
♪ Oh, when the good Lord sets you free ♪
♪ When I first moved to Memphis, Tennessee ♪
♪ Went out on the front porch walking around ♪
♪ I invited the preacher over to my house ♪
♪ Washed his face, combed his hair ♪
♪ Next thing he wants to do slip in my bed ♪
♪ I caught him by the head and kicked him out the door ♪
♪ Don't like no preacher round my house ♪
♪ No, don't like them, you shall be free ♪
♪ They'll rob you, you shall be free ♪
♪ Steal your daughter, you shall be free ♪
♪ Take your wife from you, you shall be free ♪
♪ Oh, when the good Lord sets you free ♪
♪ When I lay my burden down ♪
♪ I'm gonna tell him ♪
♪ I ain't hidin' when I lay my burden down ♪
♪ I'm gonna tell him ♪
♪ I ain't hidin' when I lay my burden down ♪
- Uh, he has a telephone, and when trouble rise, he can call on his God. What I love about him, the line is never busy. You can call in the morning and you can call at high 12. And what I love about him, you can call late hours of midnight. I read a story once of a poll parrot, you know, talking birds, and the church was close around a juke house. And that bird would sit up there and talk and go on with them, carry on, whatnot. So eventually they thought they would move the church and carry it on down the road about a mile or so farther from that juke house. So, when he got down there and had the opening for that service, the poll parrot, he was still there. He was sitting up at the church. And the preacher come out of there, he said, "Poll Parrot," he said, "now we left your place "down that juke house and come way up here "so we wouldn't hear all that noise." He said, "Yes, elder, but you got the same gang, the same gang. The same gang that go to the juke house, go to the church."
- You know, like school children, we used to play out, play a little marbles, shoot a little ball and everything, you know. So it's two brothers, you know, one of them was a church member. The other and he was a hell member. That's what you call them, always shoot them craps and everything. Anyway he was a sinner. So they is all of them sitting there one day, and was studying. Said "Hey, brother." Said, "Look, you go to church all the time." He said, "What you go to church?" He said, "I go to church to pray to go to heaven." He said, "Why don't you pray brother?" He said, "No, I ain't going to pray." He said, "Now I tell you what you do." He said, "Let's make a bet. "See which one gonna die first." Then they made a bet. So brother said, "You gonna die." Now that's what they, that's what the boy told him what was in heaven. Now he didn't die first. Now the other one died and went to hell. So they all told him, "Well, I'm gonna ask the Lord." Says, "If I die I'm gonna to ask him to let me come down and see you in hell." So sure enough the little boy, you know, he died and he got up in heaven, and he thought about his brother died in front of him. "You know me and my brother talked this. "I'm gonna ask the good Lord, could I go see my brother." He had him in a good place because he got honey, and that milk and stuff, and that good wine, and stuff, you know. He thought he had a good place. But this boy, he went on to hell, he wouldn't pray. He got up there, so yeah he called Jonah. He said, "Jonah." Said, "What?" "Come here, Jonah." Said, "Go get the Lord and tell him--" Said, "What you want to do with the Lord?" Said, "I want the Lord, so go get him here." Jonah went on and got the Lord and brought him up there. He said, "Lord," he said, "I just wanted "to ask you one question." He said, "Will you please, sir, "give me a pathway and go down to hell and see my brother?" He said, "Well, look, now I'll give you a way." Said, "But now I'm gonna to give you a certain time "to get back here." Said, "If you don't be back here in that time," said, "you can't get back in." Said, "That's all right, Lord," said, "I'll be back here on time." He give him the wings. And he let him stretch them out, he went on down into hell. When he got in there, he hit on the door. Guy on the big horse there, you know, that's the Devil's imp. "What do you want?" "I want to see my brother." "Come on in," you know he want everybody, 'cause he get in there on in the house. He went on in there with the big wings flopping on him, you know. He went in, he said, "Who you lookin' for?" Said, "I'm looking for my brother." Said, "He died two years ago and told me to come to see him, "come to see him if I died." Said, "And I'm here to see him." "So why don't you ask somebody in heaven?" Said, "Don't you see my wings?" He flapped them, and he said, "What's your brother's name?" He said, "Enock." He went on there and called, "Enoch." And Enoch wouldn't say nothing. He said, "Wait a minute, come here. "Don't you know him when you see him?" He said, "Yeah, I know my brother hadn't been dead that many years, I know I know him." He went on back in there looking. He looked, he looked. They're playing craps here. They're shooting cards over here. Doing some of everything. There's some long haired women here. He said, "Wait a minute," said, "Enoch?" He said, "There's my brother right there." Women had him and all hugged him and kissed him and hair all over him, you know. He said, "They allow you to do that in hell?" He was from Heaven. He say, "Yeah, and man, we pitches a bitch here." Said, "We pitches a bitch here." He said, "What?" So he showed him a little gal, she black, she said, "Enoch, is this your brother?" Said, "Yeah." She put her arm around up here, and hit him up in there. He said, "Mm," said, "I ain't never had this good treatment up in heaven." The man said, "You better don't be no fool." That's what his brother told him, he said, when he looked around for his brother, he was gone. The gal had him, he ain't in the room. He put his hand on him, said, "Hey, brother, "you staying too long." Said, "You know you got to be back up in heaven at a certain time." He said, "That's all right, I'll be there directly." He's in a room together, had many rooms. Woah, when the gal got through with everything, knocked him off. He woke up and looked at his watch. He says, "Twelve o'clock!" Said, "I supposed to be back into heaven." Said, "All right." Said, hit on the door. Jonah said, "What you want?" Said, "Man, give me my wings, let me get out. "Let me get back to heaven." Said, "I got to go back, I've overstayed my time." He said, "Yeah, take these damn wings and get outta here." He got his wings, flew on back to heaven. Then when he got to heaven he had to ring the bell. Woo! Wouldn't nobody say nothin'. They'd shut the bar. He said "There ain't nobody in this son-of-a-gun." Said, "They may not let me back up into heaven." Ooh, kept up a bunch of noise, this guy rode up. Said, "Who is that?" Said, "You know who I is. Said, "I'm the man that you sent to hell on the wings." "Who do you want to see?" Said, "I want to see the Lord." Said, "The Lord's asleep. "You can't see him this time of night." "Please, sir, let me see him. Let me, I'm gonna cry, please let me see the Lord." He said, "Well you keeping so much noise, waking everybody up," said, "I'm gonna get the Lord." So he got the Lord and brought the Lord back up. Lord walked up, said, "What do you want?" He said, "Lord, I just want to let you know one thing." Said, "I brought these damn wings "back to you." Said, "I'm going back down to hell "where I come from." Said, "You take these sons-of-bitches, "they're here." And he went on back to hell. I ain't lyin' either. I ain't lyin'.
♪ Well Mama don't like no guitar playing in here ♪
♪ Well Mama don't like no guitar playing in here ♪
♪ We don't know what your Mama don't like ♪
♪ We gonna play a little bit in her house ♪
♪ Well Mama don't like no pushin' around in here ♪
♪ Well Mama don't like no pushin' around in here ♪
♪ We don't tell what your Mama gonna like ♪
- The great Joe Skillet, better known as Skeet, will tell one of the world's most famous jokes.
- Guy went to a whore house to a place called y'all. He said, "Get you ninety-nine women and line them up against the wall. I got fifty minutes and I'll fuck 'em all. Shine got sick. Shine went to the doctor with his dick in his hand. said, "Doctor, doctor, I'm a fucked up man." Doc told Shine, say "Lay your dick up on this table, "I'm gonna cut it off up to your navel." Shine, he say, "You better cut off the rest of the bone, "'cause if you don't, "I'm gonner fuck right on." Shine said "Doctor, doctor, is that the best you can do?" He said, "Hell no. I gonner take your nuts off too."
- That's like the little Mami sitting on the fence, selling pussy for 15 cents. Down come a bee and stung her on the ass, She raised that price to a dollar and a half.
- I'll fuck your mom behind the Jeep, had your daddy scared to peep.
- Usually you tell them when you're angered at somebody and you don't want to hit him, so you insult him like that. Instead of fighting, or you can just do it for fun.
- Somebody be chopping cotton like, chopping cotton in the field. We never tell 'em what row because she knows the row. Who laid low, who was at the movies. He goes to avoid the one man, he runs out, and you meet the sheriff.
- Before I forget this toast, I want to tell you about it. I met a lady, she was from Nebraska. She said, "I wouldn't give you none if you asked me." She said, "I'm a high toned bitch. "I don't fuck nothing but the rich." And said, "You'd be a poor son-of-a-bitch if you asked me."
♪ Yes, I'm fine ♪
♪ I was happy ♪
♪ Swimming deep down low in the sea ♪
♪ I would help all you women ♪
♪ Pullin' in, snuck in out again ♪
♪ I seen better days ♪
♪ Daddy's in jail ♪
♪ With my back turned by the wall ♪
♪ Write a letter home to my Mama, tell her ♪
♪ With any women caught it all ♪
♪ Baby you ♪
♪ You raised your kin ♪
♪ But I don't have no right to kill ♪
♪ Yes, I go home with you, baby, let your head man kick me ♪
♪ Bad man kicked me down ♪
- Just keep on living there, you'd be like me. All of a sudden he goin', he don't want to hear this. He's gonna get like me one of these days. You know, I thank you all for everything that you ever did for me. But there's one thing that I thank you for. One thing, looky here, Lord have mercy upon my soul. How many chickens have I ever stole? Four last night and the five before, I'm going back now to get some more. Thank you.
