Painted Bride Transcript
- [Shenaz] My name is Shenaz Hooda. Since I arrived in this country in 1980, I've been practicing the Asian Muslim art of henna painting that is doing floral designs, on the hands of Asian brides. This custom is practiced at the traditional Mehndi party, which is like kind of a bridal shower. This party usually takes place two to three days, before the wedding. At this Mehndi party, while the bride is getting her hands and feet painted, her friends and relatives entertain her, by singing wedding songs and dancing. I came to New York in 1980 with my family, and I had no friends, or relatives around except my own immediate family. But at the mosque I met some girls, and they were also from different parts of India, Pakistan, and they were also alone. So we started knowing each other and gradually, we started going out together and we became very close. In the olden days, the face was usually covered. All you could see was the hands and feet. And in the traditional, original wedding, the first thing that comes in contact, between the husband and the wife is the hands. And so the main focus is on the hands. So getting the hands painted makes it more colorful, and so it, without the Mendhi, something's missing.
I was fond of art since my childhood, but before I was coming or migrating to America, I learned this in Bombay. It was just a killing time, waiting for my things to get done. And I saw this class going on and I learned it. I never did it professionally back home. But when I came over here, I found it's much in demand over here. And I started doing-- I did it for a few friends and the word spread out. I get the henna from India, or Pakistan 'cause I have relatives there. I keep in touch with them and they keep sending it to me. I get it in the powder form, just the powder. Then I strain it over here. I make the mixture over here, and I prepare the whole stuff myself. The henna leaves are crushed, into the paste form of a powder, which is done back home. And I get the powder. Then I strain the powder with the thin cloth, so there's no leaves or twigs in it, and it's completely soft. Then I mix it up with a paste of tea water, put some lemon and sugar, and some clove oil and things to give it deeper color. And I soak it over for a couple of hours. Then you make a cone out of plastic, like an icing gun, how you ice a cake. And I fill the mixture in it and tie it up. Since the past five, let's say eight, nine years, people have been using this method.
In olden times, they used to make it into a liquid paste and use a pin, dip it in the paste and draw. Like you painting, how you use a brush and you paint. And that used to take like, hours. Always with the bride, it's very tense. So that's why we have the friends, and relatives who sit by, sing songs, tease the bride, talk about her in-laws, tease the in-laws, and try to cheer up the bride. And make it like a big, happy occasion. The two days before the wedding is the only time, when you can tease the in-laws, call them names and make fun of them. And it's just to cheer up the bride by saying, your husband is like this, and your mother-in-law is, like that, and you're calling them names, and that they're illiterate and they make fun of them. And it just makes everybody laugh, and nobody minds it. After the wedding, the bride steps into reality, and then you start a life, then you can't even call anybody names or you can't tease anybody. And that's a part of life.
- How am I supposed to-
- [Shenaz] Well, I just put the S initial for fun's sake. In olden days, it was said that at wedding night, the bride asked the bride groom to look for his name. And if he finds the name, he said to boss over the bride. If he can't find it, then the bride bosses over the bride groom. It's just a joke sort of thing. A comment, which we friends do.
- [Interviewer] And you do the English S?
- [Rubina] Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, the English S.
- [Rubina] I do the English S.
- Because the design is so in flowery and things, that Arabic names won't be that very clear. So the English alphabet stands out, and it's easier to look at.
- [Interviewer] So you're helping the groom?
- Well, both ways. I tried to hide it from the groom too.
- [Child] I wish had some. Ooh, we're going out, look!
- What I'm going to show you today is henna painting. Henna is a leaf. It's crushed into a form of a powder, mixed with water, and put into this plastic cone. And then a design is drawn with it, like this. This design is done on the hands and the feet, of Indian weddings--brides at the time of weddings-- engagements, parties, happy occasions. You have to keep this on for a couple of hours. When you take this off, you wash it off, you get a color like this. See, you can't touch this because this is wet, but you can touch my hands. See? No, it won't come. But this is wet, you can't touch this.
- Thank you. When I wash my hands later, I'm going to show you, how my hands are going to look like hers.
- [Child] It's nice.
- [Teacher] It's beautiful.
- [Shenaz] The longer you keep the henna on your hands, the deeper the color you get.
- [Child] Whoa.
- [Shenaz] Yeah, see? This is an Indian bride.
- Whoa, you do it with this?
- [Shenaz] Yeah!
- That's nice.
- [Shenaz] See how it's done on the hands and the feet?
- [Child] That's nice.
- [Shenaz] It's done a day before the wedding. So when she washes off at the time of the wedding, she gets the color like this. You see?
- [Child] You have the wedding?
- [Child] Then, and how do you get that out?
- [Shenaz] It washes off gradually, the more you wash your hands, the lighter it becomes and it fades off in a couple of days.
- [Child] But it isn't that-
- [Shenaz] No, it's on the skin. It doesn't go in your skin, not in your blood. See, you can just touch. It won't come on your hand. It's just color.
- [Child] Nice.
- [Shenaz] And the henna, which it's done, with which it is done, it's very good. Today, people use it in shampoos for hair. Yeah, you'll see it's, it's put on the hair. It gives luster, shine. It has a very cool effect. And if you see all the designs, you'll find that, it's all flowers and leaves. Yeah.
- [Child] Wow!
- [Child] That's nice.
- [Child] Look very nice!
- [Shenaz] See, it's done on all happy occasions. That's why you'll see all flowers, leaves. You won't see any wild animals, or creatures that are ugly. It's all happy, happiness. You see how many- I work in a drugstore. Duane Reed is one of the biggest drugstore chain in Manhattan. I supervise the cosmetic department over there. I'm a merchandising manager. I merchandise a lot of cosmetic items, and health and beauty aids. I give orders, I do buying, sales. And I work with Americans all around, speak their language, dress up like them, and I'm like a part of them. But in the evening when I go home, I still preserve my own traditional values, and cultures of which I'm proud.
I'm sending you the planogram, you know of depilatories. That's what you asked for, right? All right, anything else? Just by disguising yourself as Americans, you don't lose your own identity from where you came. And I feel proud, I may be living in America, but I'm proud of calling myself a Pakistani. Yeah, it takes about a couple of hours, to get the hands and feet done. I always have been putting it for other people. And I never imagined how it would be for a bride, to sit there still with her hands stiff, waiting to get painted, until I had my own turn. And I didn't have the patience. In fact, you remember the girl was so slow, when she was doing it for me. And I just kept saying, "do it faster, do it faster."
His sister called my mom and arranged for a meeting, and he flew down from Chicago with a family friend, and relative who's happens to be a community leader, also. And they came down to a place, we met, with the family, with my family, and we spoke. We talked. My family liked him, but I didn't know anything much about him. This was the first time I was seeing him. So I told him, give some time to think about it. He went back the next day and that's all I met at that time. And then we started talking on the phone, 'cause I'm in New York, and he's in Chicago, so it's long distances. And all we did was talked over the phone, got to know each other much better, learned about some likes, dislikes, family backgrounds, educational and everything. And it just seemed that we started getting a little closer. And the following weekend now, after two weeks, my parents went down to meet his family, and see what he's doing in Chicago, his background and everything. And they liked it. They all approved about it. And so we decided to get engaged.
The Mendhi party is usually a ladies party. And at this occasion, everybody wants a little bit of henna painting done on their hands. If all the ladies have the hands painted and are singing, and dancing, then who's going to take care of the kitchen? Who's going to serve the food? Who's going to run the small errands? So that's where you need men, and usually the family, the men in the family, like brothers, uncles, cousins, father. And they have to do this job. In my occasion, I had a lot of cousins who flew down, just specially for the wedding. My uncle who came down from Sri Lanka. And so they played the role of serving the guests, in the kitchen, entertaining them with food and everything. And after the dinner, they joined in the singing and dancing. I never thought that if I would be--get married in America, will I be able to do the traditional ways? Will I be able to get all the stuff or not? And a lot of people back home, are just amazed that even being in America, you'll do all these traditional things, which they're really fascinated about. And that's one of the reasons why a lot of people are not going back to get married, going back home. They can get married over here, and have the same type of weddings, too.
- [Woman] Too bad, you missed it!
- [Shenaz] In spite of having a traditional Pakistani wedding, I still had the reception in America. And so the way the dinner was served, the way the food was served was a little Americanized. So naturally I had the wedding cake, and the cake cutting ceremony, and the throwing of the bouquet. In a traditional Pakistani wedding, the bride is not carrying a bouquet. She usually has a garland of flowers in her neck. And here it's very difficult to get a garland of flowers. So I carried a bouquet, and since I was carrying a bouquet, I tell why not follow the American tradition, and do the ceremony of throwing the bouquet?
- [Man] You need that back?
